There are days when you feel too tired to exercise, even though part of you knows movement may actually help you feel better. You may be stressed, uncomfortable, mentally drained or simply have no motivation to work out.

For women over 40, especially through perimenopause and menopause, poor sleep, long hours sitting, stress and changing energy levels can make it surprisingly easy to talk ourselves out of the very habits that support us.

That happened to me recently on my 20-minute walk to the gym.

I was having quite the conversation with myself.

I’m tired.

My stomach feels weird.

Maybe I should just go for a walk instead.

Why does my stomach hurt?

I’m really tired.

Maybe I’ll just stretch when I get there.

Why am I going to work out when I’m this tired?

And yet, while all of this was going through my mind, my feet kept moving toward the gym.

I turned the corner and thought, Okay, I’ll do a few things. Mostly stretching. Maybe that will help my stomach feel better.

Then I decided to do my deadlifts.

On my last set, I lifted 105 pounds for eight reps.

Then I did the rest of my workout.

By the time I finished, my stomach had stopped hurting and I was no longer tired.

I had to laugh.

My mind had spent almost 20 minutes trying to convince me not to do the very thing that ended up making me feel better.

And it reminded me of something important.

Sometimes we do not need to feel motivated before we take action.

Sometimes, we simply need to take the next action.

“I’m Too Tired to Exercise”

For many women over 40, this is a very familiar feeling.

You have had a stressful day.

You have been sitting at your computer for hours.

You have had meetings, deadlines, errands, family responsibilities or a long list of things that needed your attention.

Maybe you stayed up too late, or perhaps disrupted sleep has left you feeling as though you never really rested.

By late afternoon, you feel flat.

The gym suddenly feels like one more thing you have to do.

And your mind starts negotiating.

I’m too tired.

I have no motivation to work out.

I’ll go tomorrow.

I probably need to rest.

Sometimes that is absolutely true.

And sometimes it is not.

Am I Truly Exhausted, or Have I Run Out of Mental Energy?

There is a difference between your body genuinely needing recovery and your mind no longer wanting to make another decision.

After a full day of concentrating, sitting, problem-solving, caring for other people and responding to everyone else’s needs, you can feel completely spent.

That feeling is real.

But it does not always mean your body is physically incapable of moving.

Before deciding not to exercise, it can help to check in with yourself:

• Did I sleep poorly?
• Have I eaten enough today?
• Am I feeling sick?
• Has my stress been unusually high?
• Am I physically depleted?
• Or have I been sitting and concentrating for most of the day and now simply do not feel like moving?

Those are not the same thing.

Sometimes your body needs rest.

Sometimes your body needs movement.

Learning to recognize the difference is part of knowing yourself.

Sitting All Day Can Make Us Feel Surprisingly Tired

This is something I think many women overlook.

You may have spent much of your day sitting, yet by 4:00 or 5:00 in the afternoon you feel exhausted.

Hours at a desk or computer can leave you feeling stiff, sluggish and mentally drained.

When the time comes to exercise, your first instinct may be to sit down even more.

That is often the moment when taking the next action matters most.

You do not need to decide that you are going to have an amazing workout.

You do not even need to decide that you are going to complete the whole thing.

Put on your workout clothes.

Fill your water bottle.

Put on your shoes.

Walk out the door.

Keep moving in the direction of the gym.

See how you feel when you get there.

Sometimes the motivation arrives after you start moving, not before.

You May Not Need More Motivation

We often assume we need to feel motivated before we take action.

But sometimes the more useful question is:

What is the smallest action I can take that keeps me moving in the direction I want to go?

That is what happened to me.

I did not convince myself to have a great workout.

I simply kept walking.

One foot in front of the other.

Eventually, I found myself standing in the gym.

Then I did a few things.

Then I did my deadlifts.

Then I did the rest of the workout.

One action led to the next.

The Same Conversation Happens With Food

This pattern does not only show up with exercise.

It happens with food choices too.

You are tired.

You are busy.

You have given your energy to everything else all day.

And now you need something to eat.

A muffin and a coffee sound easy.

Grabbing something on the run sounds easy.

Making something with protein, vegetables and a source of carbohydrate feels like more effort.

And in that moment, it is more effort.

Not dramatically more.

But it asks you to stop and invest a little bit of time in yourself.

Sometimes, after giving so much of our energy to everything and everyone else, those few minutes feel like too much.

So we shortcut ourselves.

Not because we do not know what would support us.

Not because we do not care.

But because we have already spent so much of our energy elsewhere.

The problem is not the occasional muffin, takeout meal or missed workout.

The problem begins when those shortcuts become our regular response to feeling tired, stressed or busy.

That is where consistency starts to disappear.

Food and Movement Are Connected

We also need to consider whether we have actually fueled our body well enough to exercise.

If you have gone through the day barely eating, relying on coffee or skipping meals, expecting your body to perform well at the gym is not realistic.

Your body needs energy.

If you have eaten well throughout the day and need a little something before your workout, a light snack may be enough.

The point is not to force yourself through exercise when your body has nothing to work with.

It is to make sure you are not confusing inadequate nourishment with lack of motivation.

Sleep, stress, food, movement and recovery all influence one another.

They cannot really be separated.

Sometimes Rest Really Is the Right Choice

I do not believe in pushing through everything.

There are days when the most supportive choice is to rest.

Maybe you truly are exhausted.

Maybe you are getting sick.

Maybe you have slept poorly for several nights.

Maybe your body needs a nap, a walk or an earlier bedtime rather than a hard workout.

Recovery matters.

The goal is not to ignore what your body is telling you.

The goal is to become more discerning about what you are hearing.

There is a difference between:

My body needs rest today.

and

I don’t feel like doing this.

Both thoughts are valid.

They just require different responses.

We Often Shortcut Ourselves After Giving to Everyone Else

I think this is particularly important for women over 40.

Many women have spent years giving their time, energy and attention to everything around them.

Work.

Family.

Partners.

Children.

Parents.

Appointments.

Commitments.

Responsibilities.

And when there is very little energy left at the end of the day, the first thing we often cut back on is ourselves.

We shortcut the meal.

We shortcut the workout.

We shortcut sleep.

We shortcut the things that help us feel stronger, more energized and more resilient because we have already given our resources somewhere else.

Over time, those small choices can become a pattern.

And then we start wondering why we do not feel the way we want to feel.

One Choice Does Not Ruin the Day

Another place women can get stuck is what happens after a choice they are unhappy with.

I skipped my workout again.

I had the muffin.

I ordered takeout.

I’ve already messed up today.

And suddenly one decision becomes permission to abandon the rest of the day.

Or the week.

This is where I want you to change the conversation.

You do not need Monday morning to begin again.

You do not need the first of the month.

You do not need January.

The next meal is a restart.

The next snack is a restart.

The next hour is a restart.

The next minute is a restart.

You have not ruined anything.

There is simply another decision in front of you.

And you do not need to criticize yourself for needing a restart.

Consistency Is Created by Returning

I have written before about why consistency matters more than motivation during menopause, because lasting change rarely comes from feeling motivated every day.

Consistency does not mean never having an off day.

It does not mean eating perfectly.

It does not mean never missing a workout.

Consistency is created by returning.

Returning to the next meal that supports you.

Returning to your workout.

Returning to your bedtime.

Returning to the habits that help you feel stronger and more like yourself.

Again and again.

That is what creates change over time.

Put One Foot in Front of the Other

That 20-minute walk to the gym reminded me how much noise our minds can create while our bodies are perfectly capable of moving forward.

I did not need to feel enthusiastic.

I did not need to convince myself that I was going to have a fantastic workout.

I simply needed to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Some days, that is enough.

Put on the clothes.

Fill the water bottle.

Walk out the door.

Take the next step.

Then the next one.

And see where it takes you.

You may discover, as I did, that the woman who almost talked herself into going for a little walk is the same woman who deadlifted 105 pounds eight times twenty minutes later.

And yes, I laughed about that too.

Are you finding that the things that used to work for your body no longer seem to work the same way after 40?

Sometimes a few changes in how you approach food, movement, sleep and recovery can make a significant difference.

If you would like personalized support in understanding what your body needs now, you can learn more about working with me.

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